Salem, Massachusetts, the city of witches and the things that go bump in the night, has somehow eluded the five-day storm that has been pounding the state harder than a session with Ron Jeremy. How is it that school is cancelled, businesses are closed and houses are wrecked by the unexpected flooding that our own Salem State College and town has had a protected seal more secure than Glad wrap? Is it magic or the fact that Salem is the new Noah's Ark, ready for the big flood? Sadly only needing two of everyone will cause mass rejection and there is only so much room when the world gets wiped out, except Salem, of course. Kimberley Driscoll, the mayor of Salem, is teaming up with Salem State College to create a raffle to determine who will be spared and who will be "biting the dust." The date is still in question but the raffle tickets cost $10 and all proceeds will go to the survivors, so it is a great cause. The tickets will be sold on the third floor of the Ellison Campus Center next
Thursday and Friday, and there will be floaties given out to the rejected, in hopes they will survive but most likely won't.
The deluge that spared Salem hit most of the United States, wiping out the entire population of the west coast up to the Mississippi River. Denver, Colorado, is the only city spared, considering it is a mile above sea level.
Most of those outside who want in seem to be politicians and B-movie and TV stars who are grasping onto any hope of a come back.
Salem State student Inga Bernham, ‘34, said, "This whole flood thing is rather odd. I know that I will be fine. I just don't want the Kardashian sisters to drown. I can't survive my Sunday and Monday nights without them!"
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