Man Fights Against Women’s Heritage Month

So you women think you deserve a Women's Heritage Month? Really? It's not enough that we gave you Mother's Day, Women's Equality Day or International Women's Day? My God, you even have a Woman's History Month. What more do you people need? That special guy not giving you enough attention or is it just that time of the month?

I know you're upset Hillary didn't make it into office, but let's be honest here. A woman can't be president. You are all too emotional. No one would respect us as a superpower if our president is crying because Iraq won't fork over its weapons of mass destruction. Get real and stop whining. 

If it wasn't for Eve, we would all still be living in the Garden of Eden. Sounds nice, right? When God gives you a beautiful garden to live in and gives you one rule, you follow the rule. Too bad you women are never satisfied. You just always have to want more. Where has that gotten you? Or the more important question: where has it gotten men?

I don't want to live in a world where there is such a thing as a house husband. What is that? Men are the breadwinners. We go out, we make money, maybe spend some time with our pretty young thing on the side and we go home to a hot dinner cooked by our wife.

That's the way it used to be and it shouldn't ever have changed.   
I get the fact that you were maybe getting bored in the kitchen and the smell of Lemon Pine-Sol was really starting to mess with your heads. So we humored you. We let you vote, play sports and be all you can be. It was even kind of cute when you burned your bras. I certainly    didn't mind.

But once you got what you thought you needed, we thought you would return to the kitchen and be the good little wives and mothers we know you can be. We are still waiting.

As my good friend Napoleon Bonaparte said, "Women are nothing but machines for producing children." I don't necessarily agree with that. You are also pretty good at making food, rubbing my back and cleaning my house. See? I recognize your good qualities too.

So how about you get your panties out of a bunch and get over it. Men are the superior sex and we've given you enough already. It stops here.

Now, go make me a sandwich.